Why not love locks at the Chrysler Museum of Art?

If love locks are fine for the scenic old Hague footbridge, the iconic gateway to Ghent, then why not the Chrysler Museum, which is only footsteps away?

"Certainly we know there was painted graffiti (like tagging) in ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, but the love locks might be more in the tradition of temple offerings or Catholic reliquary devotional practices, since they're an established and repeated gesture with one standardized meaning or wish attached. Like leaving flowers at a grave, decorating a herm, lighting candles on an altar, or — best parallel maybe — throwing coins in a fountain. It's more about the performance than the visual outcome — one could argue for that reason that they aren't graffiti at all, you know."

— quote from a Chrysler Museum intellectual on AltDaily.com

So why not just call them litter, as well as graffiti? Littering, just something else with "one standardized meaning" (namely, getting rid of something that you consider trash) that's "more about the performance than the visual outcome" (namely, tossing the offending trash and not caring about the unsightly mess left behind).

See what a famous art critic has to say about the locks


The Perfect Spot!

The Chrysler Mueum already has wrought iron rails (perfect for attaching love locks to) on either side of its entrance, and it has beautiful live oaks shading these rails. Plus, lovers can still toss the keys to their locks into the waters of The Hague, which is right across the street from the museum. That key tossing may not be "environmentally correct," but it's oh-so-romantic !


Longing — if ever so effetely — for the locks:


Or an even better venue at the museum for the "love locks,"

and a doggone good idea!

Since locking padlocks on bridges qualifies as a kind of performance art (look it up, almost anything does), then why not a dedicated place for these locks on the grounds of the Chrysler Museum of Art? Something that would draw even more visitors to the museum. Maybe something startling, eye-catching, even elevating. Consider the remarkable sculpture by the famous artist Richard Jackson that the Orange County Museum of Art in California planted right next to its building, and which has gotten rave reviews from the art world:

A huge crowd pleaser!


Le Pup Legúp

So why not a leg up for the Chrysler Museum?

Why not a big, famous dog for the Chrysler Museum, too? And get this, not only one relieving himself, but one that could relieve the old Hague bridge of its ponderous slew of locks. Violà! Imagine Le Pup Legúp —for a Parisian flair, or il Puppia Pia if an homage to Rome and it's slew of locks is preferred.

The huge wire hound sculpture in flagrante urinae would be the spot for love locks. Smitten tourists from all over the world would descend on Norfolk to lock their love to the lovable and colossal pup. At 70 feet tall (to the tip of its tail) and weighing over 70 tons (due mainly to the weight of 50,000 padlocks), the burgeoning expressions of dogged and unending love could not be overlooked by anyone with eyes or a heart.

The number of tourists visiting the museum to attach their locks to Le Pup Legúp would far surpass the number attracted even by the giant Dutch rubber ducky who once squatted next to the museum.

Credit must be given the late John Parker for inspiring the idea for Le Pup Legúp. Once when the subject of people locking love locks to the Hague bridge came up, John likened the locks to a male dog marking his territory.


Back, finally, to reality...

Guess what. The august Chrysler Museum does not actually want the locks of love on its premises. According to a spokesperson for the City of Norfolk, anywhere near Nauticus or Town Point Park won't work either. Gotta wonder why the locks are such pariahs (apparently everywhere except the Hague bridge), considering how much, as Norfolk spokesperson Lori Croch so eloquently proclaimed, "Norfolk loves the love."